


Say Something, Like You Love Me

by SawyerDay



Series: I Don't Know If I Believe [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe, Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Teen!Cas, Teen!Dean, teen!Sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-29 19:51:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3908458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SawyerDay/pseuds/SawyerDay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is having a shitty week and misses his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dean Winchester Is Having A Shitty Week

**Author's Note:**

> This kind of just popped in my head. The pacing and things are weird because it's more like glimpses instead of an actual story. The stories are vague on purpose. This is just a part of many parts. There will eventually be two prequels and a few sequels.

Dean Winchester is having a shitty week.

Monday he got a flat tire on the way to school.

Tuesday he found out he failed his math test that he spent hours studying for.

Wednesday he and his brother got into a fight, which resulted in both of them giving each other the silent treatment.

Thursday he dropped his tool box and dented the shit out of it. He still can’t find a few of the bolts he knows were there before.

Friday he realized his dad had been drunk every night that week.

Saturday started out just as bad. He spilled coffee all over himself because someone had left their shoes in the middle of the kitchen floor. There was no hot water left for his shower, and he had forgotten to check the windows on his truck before he went to bed. He was now walking into work with a soaked left ass cheek and thigh.

“Rough morning?” His uncle asked when he saw the wet spot on the back of Dean’s pants.

Dean gave him a small wave and disappeared into the back room to change into his coveralls and work boots. If this was how his week was going to end he wasn’t sure he even wanted to be there. There were many things that could go wrong and some of them included death. He was grateful his uncle noticed he was having an off day and gave him simple tasks to complete. A few oil changes and a couple battery swaps. Nothing that would result in too much damage if things went wrong.

His Saturday didn’t get worse so that was good, but it didn’t get better either. His mood was foul and he knew it. It didn’t matter how fast he drove on the back roads or how loud he played his music he couldn’t make himself feel better. He felt stuck in a never ending loop of bad luck. He was sure it had something to do with the fact that it would be the first year that he wouldn’t be able to put flowers on his mother’s grave. It would also be the first year he would miss his best friends birthday. He should call him and see how he’s doing. It’s been a few weeks since their last talk and he hadn’t gotten a letter in at least a month.

Castiel and Dean had been friends since before either boy could talk. Their parents had been friends in high school and ended up being neighbors until the boys were sixteen. Dean had to leave when his dad got a new job six hours away from everything he knew and loved. It wasn’t a huge change because his uncle Bobby owned an auto shop where they were moving.

Leaving your best friend behind wasn’t ideal. The boy promised to call and write as often as possible. It helped with the loneliness a little, but there was still a Cas sized hole in his life.

 

 


	2. Sunday Un-funday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: blood mention/alchohol/abuse
> 
> Note: my username will be changing on the 12th. If you'd like to keep up with this story please follow me on tumblr or just keep an eye out for the new link. sawyerday.tumblr.com

Sunday night Dean’s walking up the front steps of his house when he hears yelling coming from inside. As soon as he hears his brother’s voice he knows it’s going to be a bad night. He pushes the door open and quickly closes it behind him so the neighbors don’t have more to talk about.

“What’s going on?” Dean asks trying to assess the situation. His brother, Sam, is standing in the living room and his father is standing in the kitchen, both red-faced and angry.

“Handle your brother,” His dad spits and turns to the fridge. It’s clear he isn’t sober and Dean sighs.

“Sammy?” He asks.

“Nothing,” Sam turns and heads upstairs and slams his bedroom door. More often than not he comes home to a situation between his father and brother and is always somehow caught in the middle.

Dean walks further into the living room and sets his bags down. His dad is slamming things in the kitchen and he knows it would be stupid to say anything. Maybe he won’t. Maybe this time he’ll let his brother and dad work it out themselves.

“You're brother is an ungrateful little shit.”

Dean sits on the couch facing away from his dad and puts his head in his hands. This isn’t the first time that this has happened and he’s sure it won’t be the last.

“What’s going on?” He asks. He doesn’t want to know. He can hear his dad gulping down a beer. He slams the can on the counter and lets out a deafening belch. Dean rolls his eyes waiting for the inevitable.

“He wants to go back to Lawrence. He wants to go to college. He wants new shoes. He wants to join the debate team. He wants and wants and wants and wants. He never says thank you. He doesn’t do shit around the house. He doesn’t care that his mother is gone-”

“Dad, that’s not fair,” Dean interrupts. He knows what’s coming next and it makes him feel sick.

“It should have been him! It should have been you!” He slurs and leans against the counter while he cries into his hands, “Not her. Not my Mary.”

“Dad, come on. Let's get you in bed.” Dean says and stands, turning to face his father. He ignores the tears stinging in his eyes and walks to the kitchen and reaches for his dad's arm.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” The older man yells. His hands are moving wildly knocking things off the counter. Dean doesn’t move fast enough and the back of his father's hand slams into his face. Dean gasps and grabs his nose in pain. There is already blood dripping down his lip and into his mouth.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” His dad is kneeling on the floor staring at his hands. The larger man grabs at Dean and pushes his face into his son’s chest. Dean can’t move. The pain in his nose is so painful. His eyes are stinging with tears but he can’t let them fall. He hears movement from the other room and looks over just in time to see Sam walk into the kitchen with a look of horror on his face.

“Did you hit him?” He asks loudly.

“Sammy, no. He didn’t-”

“Shut up, Dean!” Sam rushes into the room and tugs his father off of his brother and the man falls to the floor with a loud thud. “He fucking hit you!”

“Don’t talk like that in my house!” John says from the floor. Sam lets out a dark laugh and bends down in his dad’s face. Dean tries to grab him but his hands are covered in blood and he can’t afford to go to the laundromat for a few more days.

“This isn’t your house. This is Dean’s house. He pays for everything. He buys the food and cooks our meals. Hell, he’s even paid rent a few times.”

“Sam, come on! Stop. Can’t you see he’s hurting?”

“He’s hurting, Dean? He’s hurting? I ask to go see mom’s grave and I’m treated like I asked to be fucking president. I miss her too, yanno.”

“You didn’t even know her!” Dean yells. He knows he shouldn’t have said that but it’s too late. The pain is already there. He can’t take it back. Tears are falling down his brother’s face and he’s the reason they are there.

“Sammy,”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Sam turns and leaves right out the front door. The slam of the door shakes the whole house. Dean looks down to their father who has passed out in the middle of the floor. Dean’s nose is still dripping blood down the front of his shirt and onto the floor.

 Dean Winchester is having a shitty week.

 

 


	3. Drunk Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: alcohol

Monday comes and Sam still won’t talk to Dean. He’s tried everything including making Sam his favorite meal. His father won't look at him because the bruises under each eye is a reminder that he drinks too much. His father leaves for a business trip as soon as the boys leave for school.

Dean doesn’t go to school. He drops off Sam and takes off to the lake with half a bottle of whiskey he stole from the freezer. He can’t go back to school until his face has healed up. He doesn’t want to answer questions. Unfortunately, he’ll still have to go to work. That’s going to be worse. At least he has the day off.

The drive to the lake is calming. There’s no traffic, the sun is shining, and no one is going to be out today due to it being Monday. He can spend the whole day there if he wanted. He probably will.

The whiskey burns as it goes down. He’s only been drunk twice and both times were with Castiel. First time, they were 12 and stole Cas’s moms wine coolers. They both threw up and had awful headaches the next day. Lucky for them, it was on a weekend and they didn’t have school.

The second time he was drunk sticks out in his mind. They had snuck some drinks from a party that Cas’s older brother, Gabe, was having. He suspected Gabe knew, but he clearly never said anything to anyone. Dean had been talking about how he had been kissing Lisa and Cas confessed that he had never kissed anyone besides family before. Not thinking Dean had leaned in and planted a kiss to his friend's lips. Most kids would freak out if their same-sex best friend had kissed them, but not Cas.

After that Cas changed. Something was different about him. He was much more affectionate and touchy-feely. Not in a creepy way, and it wasn’t enough of a change that an outsider would have noticed, but Dean noticed. The first time Cas held his hand under the table at family dinner Dean wanted to jump up and run away, but something in Cas’s eyes kept him there. By the time dinner was over he didn’t even care anymore.

Cas would count the freckles on Dean’s face after he had spent the day in the sun. He would sit a little too close and lean his head on Dean’s shoulder when no one else was around. When Dean spent the night, Dean would sleep on the floor, but by morning Cas would be pressed up against him. It wasn’t sexual, just intimate. Private. Like Cas was trying to tell him something.

By noon, Dean was drunker than he had ever been. The had the windows rolled down on his truck to let the breeze in. He had his back to the driver side door and his feet almost touching the passenger side door. He watched in a drunken haze as birds and other animals wandered around. He thought about Cas and what he was doing. Probably studying for something or sitting in math class taking notes. He was always a good student. Dean pulled out his phone and sent his friend a text.

**Me: CasSSS u bUsy?!?11**

Dean stared at the screen for a few moments before he shoved his phone back in his pocket. Cas wasn’t one to break the rules so he probably wouldn’t get a reply until school was out. He's shocked when his phone vibrated in his pocket a few minutes later.

Cas _: Dean? Are you okay?_

**Me: oh Yeha. i’m ggreat!**

_Cas: Are you drunk?_

**Me: whaaAAT?!?!1 how did u know that i’m sdunkt?**

Cas _: Dean, where are you? Shouldn’t you be in class?_

**Me: i’m at the laaake. ,y dads hit me cas. i stolles his whiskeeey. saaammy htes mie!111**

There wasn’t a reply after that and Dean frowns. He misses his friend. He needed his friend and the way that he was able to make everything better. He missed the way he could calm Dean down with little effort. Usually a touch to the hand or a look was all Dean needed. The smallest gesture from Cas and all the pain and suffering was gone.

 

 


	4. Just Another Tuesday

Tuesday wakes Dean up to incessant knocking on his door.

“Take the bus, Sam!” He shouts and rolls over and falls back asleep.

He misses work and doesn’t call in.

 

 


	5. Wednesday Sucks

Wednesday sucks. Dean skips school again, but he does go to work. He avoids his uncle the best he can, but he knows that he’s going to get yelled at for missing work. He will also no doubt be questioned about his black eyes and bruised upper lip.

The work day is over and Dean makes a beeline for his truck. He doesn’t make it far before his uncle is standing in front of him blocking his way.  

“What in the hell is going on, Dean?” He asks impatiently.

“Nothing, Bobby. I’m just tired.”

“You missed work. That’s not like you. What happened to your face?”

Dean doesn’t answer. He knows Bobby will figure it out himself, but he doesn’t want to admit anything out loud.

“I swear to God himself, Dean Winchester. You better tell me what’s going on right now.” Dean knows he probably looks pathetic, but he can’t stop the tears that spring to his eyes as he wraps his arms around the older man. He tells him about his bad week. He tells him about missing home and Cas, he talks about Sammy and his dad, he tells him about how much he hates school and doesn’t want to be there. The older man listens and lets Dean get it all out. He feels better after it's over, but there’s something in his uncle’s eyes that say,  _"I'm going to kill your father"_.

“Dean, I’m only gonna say this one time. If your daddy lays another hand on you, accident or not, you call me. Do you hear me?”

Dean nods weakly. He knows he should have called his uncle when the drinking started up again, but he didn’t want him to worry. He doesn’t want anyone to worry. He can do this. He can take care of his family by himself. He doesn’t need help from anyone else.

 


	6. Thursday

Thursday Dean finds a note and money on his dresser. It’s from his dad. He won’t be home for two weeks. 

He tells Sam but Sam doesn’t say anything. He just looks at Dean for a moment and then goes back to making his lunch. Dean feels guilty as his brother slides the brown bag into his backpack. He should have made his lunch for him. 

“I’m sorry, Sammy.” Dean says as his brother walks to the front door. Sam turns and gives his brother a small smile and then leaves for the bus. 

Dean doesn’t go to school.


	7. Seven New Freckles

Friday Dean wakes up too early to someone beside him. He sits up and sees dark hair sticking out of his blankets in the dim light. His heart feels like it’s going to burst right out of his chest. 

“Cas?” He whispers. The dark haired boy stirs next to him and hums in response. Dean doesn’t know if he should curl back up to his best friend or cover him in kisses from head to toe. The last thought makes him blush and opts for the first option. 

Dean wakes up again and knows that Cas is awake. He can feel him staring. He’s probably counted his freckles twenty times by now. He keeps his eyes closed and lets the feeling of calmness and familiarity wash over him. 

“Seven new ones,” Cas says and Dean can’t help but smile. He cracks an eye open and Cas is leaning over him with a look of concentration on his face. 

“You sure?” Dean asks. 

“I’m sure.” Comes Cas’s reply and Dean can’t stop himself from looking at his friends mouth. He remembers what those lips feel like. His eyes find Cas’s and he feels everything that was wrong in the last few weeks melt away. It’s gone. There is nothing left but Cas and so what if he lets a few tears escape.

“I missed you,” He says and smiles weakly. Cas wraps an arm around Dean’s waist and smiles. Dean closes his eyes and lets his body relax. He feels lips on his eyelids and a few more tears find their way into his hairline.

“I missed you too, Dean.”


	8. He Loves You

Saturday has Dean feeling better. He gets it now. It all makes sense now. He needs Cas. It’s not a question or a thought in the back of his mind anymore. He needs him always. Cas is important and when he’s without him it feels like fire in his lungs. 

When he’s finally awake enough to open his eyes Cas is gone and he panics for a moment before he hears talking down stairs. He keeps his steps light and sits at the top of the stairs and listens to his brother and Cas talk. 

“He’s better when you’re here,” Sam says. Dean blushes. Cas doesn’t respond with words but he knows he’s looking at Sam with a questioning look in his eyes. “I wish I had that with someone.”

There is a sound of movement and then Cas’s soothing voice, “You will.”

“What if I never find what you guys have? Even my dad had it for awhile.”

“Sam, what is it that you think your brother and I have?” Cas asks. Dean can’t help but hold his breath. He’s not sure if he wants to know what Sam thinks. What if it’s not what Dean thinks? What if it’s something he’s not quite ready to face?

“He loves you.”

That’s true. He does love Cas. He loves him so much it makes him dizzy sometimes.

Cas laughs. It’s light and makes Dean’s stomach flip flop. “He loves you too, Sam.”

“I know, but it’s not the same,” Sam pauses for a moment. “It’s like, he could live without talking to me everyday, but with you, it’s like he’s missing a whole part of himself.”

Okay, that was unexpected. Although, it’s not exactly untrue. When Cas isn’t there he does feel off. He does feel like there is something missing. 

Neither boy says anything else so Dean makes his way to the bathroom and closes the door loud enough to let them know he’s awake.


	9. Drowning and Flying

Sunday feels like drowning. 

Cas is going to have to leave and Dean knows it. They’re taking a walk to the park and Dean feels like he’s walking in wet cement. 

“Stop it,” Cas says. Dean stops walking and looks at his friend, “I know what you’re doing and I want you to stop.”

“I’m not doing anything!”

“You are. You’re sulking,” Cas places a hand on Dean’s shoulder and directs him to the curb. They both sit, their shoulders touching. 

“I don’t want you to go.” Dean says. Suddenly his hands are super interesting. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Dean. It’s spring break.” Cas laughs and wraps an arm around his friend. 

“You’re going to stay for a whole week?”

“Of course.”

Sunday feels like flying.


	10. Spring Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: sexy times

Monday is lazy and consists of pajamas all day, pizza, and movies.

Tuesday is full of laughs and hidden touches and awkward stares.

Wednesday is warm and the stars shine brighter than Dean has ever seen. He’s on the ground wrapped in a blanket. Cas on one side and Sam on the other. Cas suggested going to the lake and watching the stars.

“They’re so beautiful.” Cas says. Dean reaches down and grabs his friends hand and squeezes it. Watching Cas look at the stars is like looking at the world from space. It’s like hearing a baby take its first breath or seeing a bird take flight for the first time.

“They sure are,” Dean replies.

“You two are gross,” Sam mumbles and Dean can’t help but laugh.

Thursday is sunburns and hamburgers on the grill.

Friday sadness creeps in and makes Dean feel like he’s going to throw up whenever he thinks about Cas leaving the following day. He doesn’t want his friend to leave. He’s just starting to feel normal. He’s starting to feel like himself again.

Saturday Sam can sense his brothers mood and goes to his friends house for the night. Cas must sense it too because he sits extra close and holds Dean’s hand while they watching Star Wars for the millionth time. The credits are just starting to roll and Cas pulls him up and leads him to his bedroom.

“Cas?” Dean asks confused. Cas doesn’t say anything. He just strips off his clothes, leaving only his boxers on, and climbs into Dean’s bed.

“You coming?” Cas asks and Dean has to force himself towards the bed. Is this okay? Is this what Cas wants? To lay with Dean practically naked?

Dean strips down to his underwear and crawls in next to Cas. They both lay on their backs staring up at the ceiling. It was Cas’s last night.

“Dean, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Cas says. His eyes don’t leave the ceiling.

“Okay.”

“I’m fairly certain you know how I feel about you, but,” Cas turns his head and stares at the side of Dean’s face. “I’m ridiculously in love with you and I have been for awhile.”

Dean turns his head and meets Cas’s eyes. It’s not that he’s shocked, not really. It’s that he never thought in a million years that Cas would be the one to say it first. Not because Cas isn’t capable of love or anything but because he just wasn’t one to just say things.

“I love you too, Cas.” Dean says. He can’t help but look at Cas’ mouth. Cas smiles and leans in until their lips are touching. They turn towards eachvother so they're pressed up together. Cas’s hand finds the side of Dean’s face and wanders to the back of his head pushing their heads together more. The kiss deepens and Dean moves his hips against his friend. Cas lets out a moan and Dean wants to hear him do it again. He hooks and leg over Cas’s body and ends up sitting on top of him. Cas’s hands move to Dean’s waist and then move up his back pulling him down into another kiss.

“You’re so beautiful, Dean.” Cas says. If anyone else would have said that he would have laughed at them, but he knows that Cas means it. Dean places a hand on either side of Cas’s face and pulls away to look into his eyes. If he’s going to do this, he needs to do it now. In the moment.

“I love you so much, it hurts. I can’t breathe when you aren’t here. I feel like I’m drowning. I miss you everyday. I miss you even when you’re here. I never want to be without you. I need you,” The words spill from Dean’s mouth. Even if he wanted to stop talking he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Cas deserved to know everything.

Cas just smiles and leans up into Dean. Their lips meet and the kisses are no longer sweet and innocent. They are passionate full of understanding and love. Cas runs his hands down Dean’s back and hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his boxes and pushes them down. Dean sits up on his knees and then leans to the side awkwardly to pull them off and toss them to the floor.

Cas raises his hips and Dean moves down his body to help remove his boxers. He’s never seen Cas up close and naked before. He’s kinda surprised to see that Cas is all lean muscle. He runs his hands up Cas’s body and watches as Cas arousal peaks. Dean can’t help but lick his lips. He’s always wanted to know what Cas tasted like.

Dean leans his face down close to Cas’s body and kisses along his thighs. Cas squirms and and lets out a gasp as Dean gets closer to Cas’s hard on. He presses a kiss to the tip and then lightly licks it.

Cas lets out a loud moan. Dean can’t help the swell of pride that fills his chest because he’s the reason Cas is making the most heavenly sounds he’s ever heard. He opens his mouth and takes in a few inches of Cas.

“Fuck, Dean,” Cas’s words pass Dean’s ears and go straight to his own arousal. Cas hardly ever curses and Dean thinks he might come without being touched if Cas keeps talking like that. He takes Cas all the way and relaxes his throat. He slowly lifts his head and lets his tongue swirl around the tip. Dean repeats the actions a few times. Cas’s hips come up off the bed and Dean has to hold him down to keep himself from gagging. Dean pulls off and laughs.

“A little excited?” Dean asks and promptly kisses his way up Cas’ body stopping quickly at each nipple. Cas’s hands find Dean’s hair and he pulls him up by the hair and crashes their mouths together. Dean’s nose is mostly healed but he knows his bruise is going to be back in the morning. Cas is pushing Dean up and back until they are both sitting up, Dean firmly in Cas’s lap. Their kiss is all tongue and teeth. Cas runs a hand down Dean’s side while the other gently grabs his erection between them and gives it a few quick pulls. Dean’s head rolls back as he lets out a moan and Cas’s mouth finds his throat.

“I love you, Dean.” Cas says into Dean’s ear and sucks the lobe into his mouth. Dean lets out a moan and can’t stop himself from thrusting into Cas’s hand. Cas takes his and Dean’s erections into his hand and starts stroking faster. Dean doesn’t know how long he can last, it probably won’t be long, but God he feels so good. It was never like this with anyone else. Ever.

“Cas, I’m gonna come.” Dean says and kisses Cas’s shoulder and neck. Cas squeezes a little harder but keeps up the pace and Dean can feel his orgasm wash over him. His hips start moving on their own and his breath his caught in his throat. “Fuck!”

Cas comes quickly after that. Leaving teeth marks on Dean’s collarbone. Dean collapses on top of Cas and they lay for for a few minutes catching their breaths and kissing lazily.

“Shower?” Dean suggests and they both run to the bathroom laughing and grabbing at eachother. The shower doesn’t do anything except get them all riled up again. Shower blowjobs with Cas are probably Dean’s favorite thing in the world now. After both boys are mostly clean they make their way back to Dean’s bed, but not before Cas forces Dean to change the sheets.

They don’t sleep. They just lay there staring at eachother like a bunch of idiots. Dean can’t stop smiling and Cas can’t stop kissing Dean every few minutes.

“You’re leaving.” Dean says suddenly.

“Yes. I have to go back to school.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. I have to.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Sunday feels conflicted. He loves Cas. Cas is leaving. His bags is all packed and it’s sitting next to the front door. Sam is working on his homework at the kitchen table and Dean and Cas and laying on the couch trying to prolong the inevitable. If Cas doesn’t leave soon he won’t be home until it’s dark.

“I hate it when you have to go,” Dean says quietly. His hand is holding Cas’s tightly.

“I’ll be back.”

“When?”

“Soon,” Cas replies and unlinks his fingers from Dean’s and stands. Dean stays where he is. He doesn’t like goodbyes. Never has. Cas leans down and places a kiss to Dean’s lips and walks to the door. He picks up his bag and Dean doesn’t have to see his face to know that Cas’s eyes are red rimmed. He knows Cas won’t cry until he’s on the road away from him. Dean closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to actually watch Cas walk out the door.

He lays on the couch for the rest of the day and Sam lets him. He’s in love with Cas. It all makes sense now. He probably has been since they were kids. He can’t help but smile because Cas loves him too.

Around 10PM he makes his way to bed. He’s tired and has to go to school the next day. He’d rather dropout and work for his uncle but he promised Cas he would try to graduate on time.

He strips down to his boxers and climbs into bed.

Cas loves him.

He rolls over and buries his face into his pillow because he’s smiling like a lovesick fool. His hand feels something under the pillow. He pulls it out and looks it over in the light of his bedside lamp. It’s a folded up piece of paper. He unfolds it and recognizes Cas’s handwriting right away.

_I love you, Dean Winchester._

_-Cas_

That’s all is says and that’s all Dean will need until they see each other again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you have any questions or concerns please let me know.


End file.
